Whatever you’re thinking about is literally like planning a future event. When you’re worrying, you are planning. When you’re appreciating you are planning…What are you planning?

— Abraham

I have found myself worry planning some big trouble lately.  It is so easy.  Just think the scary thoughts and follow the scary mind movie to its scary conclusion.

I think this is in the category of not doing my best, one of the four agreements from  The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)by Don Miguel Ruiz.  “Always do your best,” he says.

When I do am doing this kind of worry planning, here’s what I do.  I tell myself that I want to feel good.  I pet a cat a dog a horse.  I take a walk.  I watch something like Bridesmaids again or listen to Annie Lamott reading Grace (Eventually): Thoughts on Faith. I get as general as I can, which means not drilling down into the situation or even a good feeling solution for that situation.  I leave it alone.  As best I can.

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Mostly I avoid these kind of interactions.  Then one will come out of the blue and surprise me.  This picture reminds me of my father and I at various points in our relationship.  I always figured that I got my big fight muscles doing battle with him.  But I actually think the opposite is true.  I think that this builds rigidity, fear and a headache.

A few years ago I read The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom (A Toltec Wisdom Book)by Don Miguel Ruiz.

1. Be impeccable with your word
2. Don’t take anything personally
3. Don’t make assumptions
4. Always do your best

The trainer at the barn where I kept my horse at the time had them posted inside the tack room.  She wanted a more mindful environment in her stable. I think that it did keep us on our toes, mostly in the right way.  I would love it if politicians had to sign a binding agreement to follow them.

These days I will do a lot to avoid smack talk.  Close up shop if necessary – hang out the closed sign.  Or treat it like a big wave and duck dive.  Come back when the sun is out.

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