Today Pam and I drove up to visit Bedlam Farm, home of Jon Katz and Maria Wulf.  Our friendship with these two amazing people has grown over the past few months.  Jon is an inspiration and a mentor for me, a budding blogger and writer.  With some trepidation I had asked him to look at a couple chapters of my book, Horse Dancing:  Artists, the body and the bond between horses and humans.  He is pushing me to show myself more, to open more, to step out of the shadows.  I thought I was.  I can see now that I am not, that there is more to show, more to share.

I also wanted to meet Rocky, the 30-year old pony that lives at the future Bedlam Farm.  Jon has posted some beautiful photos of Rocky with me today on his Facebook page and his blog.  To me, Rocky felt like the sleeping prince waiting to be kissed to awaken.  Jon and Maria had been giving him some soft kisses, but Rocky needed a big smooch to wake up.  He has been alone for a long time.

This is what I loved about today, what broke my heart open.  He was ready.  Not that he had just been hanging around waiting, but when he was touched, really handled, it was as if his body remembered all of that and opened to it like a flower in the sun.  I think that is a testament to how deeply he has been loved.  He became animated, eager and responsive with his herd of four humans.

Nelson, the mustang that I work with is like this now.  He wants to be with.  He is relaxed and happy, interested in whatever the next thing is. His life feels pretty good to him now.

I think this is what we all want, each of us in our own way.  To be with, to be touched, to be cherished, to be one.  I know it is what I want.  I am not always able to express that.  I don’t always give myself over to being loved the way Rocky did today.  That is his gift to me today.

Maria said that usually after his apple and a bit of brushing, Rocky wanders away. She said that was a relief, because it marked an end to their mutual commitment.  Rocky was wandering off because there wasn’t a compelling reason to stay.  Now he will stay.  And so will they.  He has felt us, and he knows there is more.  More love, more connection, more of all of us.

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HORSE

With him
here, now
skin to skin
warmth spilling
one into the other.

breaths
a lattice of
drawing in,
drawing out.

the heart is a
cave that holds our
boisterous blood
our twinned pulses
bound in this moment

after all, the only and
most precious.

                                             Paula Josa-Jones

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