Category Archives: moving, breathing, feeling

shadow or dance?

Sometimes the shadows overwhelm the dance. In relationships, that can mean that we have fallen into shadow, and are no longer dancing.  That seems to happens when there is no real listening, or our attention shifts to the dark parts – the unlit terrain of the relationship.

What is the path out of that?  I think it is deciding that the history of the shadows, the background architecture of the story is no longer really important. What is needed is finding a way to flow forward with good intention.  Then the shadows are not a problem, just playful dance partners.

 

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flow

Photo:  Pam White                 Dae and Esme flowing down Lucy Vincent Beach on Martha’s Vineyard

I learned some wonderful lessons about flow today.

First, a lesson from the movement analyst (me):  In movement, in creativity, in relationships, there are two kinds of flow. Free flow is where the feeling is unrestricted, outpouring, ongoing.  Bound flow occurs when the movement is restricted, held back.  A lot of us assume that bound flow is bad – it means that we are stuck, or limited in some terrible way.  But there are times when we want to engage bound flow – putting down a delicate cup, or picking up a pen for example.  We don’t want the cup to crash, the pen to fly our of our hands.

  • During my riding lesson with Brandi Rivera, I learned (again) that using bound flow in my riding aids (leg, seat, hands) for short moments creates a clearer sense of free flowing, fluid connection and suppleness with my horse, Sanne.
  • I learned that creating boundaries for a troublesome child opens us to greater ease and communication.
  • I learned that starting the day early by opening the floodgates to my fiction writing creates another one of those great, unexpected entry points to the day.  It is like choosing to enter the cave first, rather than stepping right out into the light.

How do you experience flow?

 

 

rogue wave

Red Sail Photography

I am experiencing one of these at the moment.  Children will bring these to shore at various times.  Unconscious patterns of addiction and obsession seem to create these big boys in like nothing else. By the time you hear it, it is probably to late to run.

Can you dive under a rogue wave?  Can they be surfed safely to land?  I have my doubts.  I love riding, but not one of these.

A few years ago I did some study of a releasing technique called the Sedona Method.  One of the questions our teacher asked is if we could become the ocean and not the wave.  That was after it was apparent that the wave, meaning the situation, was to big for a quick duck dive.  I remember the feeling of imagining myself sinking deep into the water, becoming part of the vastness, rather than part of all the craziness on the surface.

 

Go deeper

past thought
into silence
past silence
into stillness

deeper still
past stillness
into the heart

now
let the love
consume
whatever is left of you

                                                          Chris McCombs  

 

trust

When I first met Nelson, the almost formerly wild Mustang, he did not want to be touched.  He was nervous, and that made me feel nervous, and we did a strange nervous dance for quite a while.  Both of us prickly and alert, sympathetic nervous systems on orange.

I wish I could say that I found a magic key and that suddenly Nelson was easily touchable, but I did not.  What I did find was horse time.  Horse time is biologic, sometimes even geologic.  It does not have to do with any kind of human time measurement.  It has to do with listening and with waiting.

I got very good at waiting.  One day when I came to work with him, Nelson would not let me anywhere near him.  So I sat leaning against the fence for about 2 hours until he finally came close enough to get a treat.  I had a lot of time that day to think about taking that personally.  A lot of time to feel my impatience and what I assumed was my ineptitude.

The real thing that I have learned from Nelson is that if I listen and wait, he gives me everything.  And the lovely thing is that I have also found that to be true about myself.  If I listen and wait, then what I want unfolds and offers itself to me.  All in good horse time.