Category Archives: moving, breathing, feeling

other

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I heard a group of speakers discussing the racial, socio-economic situation in Baltimore and across the country on the Diane Rehm show.  One speaker spoke of “othering”  in reference to how we treat people who live in the ghetto.

Stephen Jay Gould coined that term to describe how we separate ourselves from others – making them less than, alien, disgusting.  We do it with animals.  We do it with women.  We do it with blacks, Muslims, and anyone that makes us uncomfortable because they do not fit into our particular, narrow, socio-political compartment.  Because they are NOT US.  Because they have a vagina or a tail.

What I wanted the speaker to do was connect the dots.  Women have been othered for millenia. Slavery was abolished in this country before laws of coverture that subsume women’s rights and regard her as property.  Why is no one remembering that?  Why is no one seeing that as part of the whole cloth of oppression, othering and fear of what is different (has a vagina, is black, is Jewish, loves someone of the same sex).

I watched Amy Schumer’s brilliant sketch 12 Angry Men sketch on Inside Amy Schumer.  In it, she walks a very delicate line between an ugly, acidic portrayal of sexism, and the excruciating othering of one’s own body and gender.  Heteronormativity, the heart of the case currently before the supreme court, is another, sickeningly pervasive way of othering.

The fissure created by events in Ferguson, North Carolina and Baltimore is an opportunity to look at things from a bigger perspective.  A chance to fly very high so that we can see the landscape of oppression in the broadest way possible.  Will we do that?  Will there be a conversation?  Only if WE talk, and keep talking and start feeling.

 

 

 

 

 

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help from Mary

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Do you need a little help today?  Here it is – more help from Mary Oliver.  Do you need reminding that there is just this moment, and so taste it and swallow it whole?  Listen to this.  It is a gift from Brain Pickings, and the ever generous and brilliant Maria Popova.

THE FOURTH SIGN OF THE ZODIAC (PART 3)

I know, you never intended to be in this world.
But you’re in it all the same.

so why not get started immediately.

I mean, belonging to it.
There is so much to admire, to weep over.

And to write music or poems about.

Bless the feet that take you to and fro.
Bless the eyes and the listening ears.
Bless the tongue, the marvel of taste.
Bless touching.

You could live a hundred years, it’s happened.
Or not.
I am speaking from the fortunate platform
of many years,
none of which, I think, I ever wasted.
Do you need a prod?
Do you need a little darkness to get you going?
Let me be urgent as a knife, then,
and remind you of Keats,
so single of purpose and thinking, for a while,
he had a lifetime.

Mary Oliver

 

are you holding your own heart?

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I am reading a superb new book on trauma called The Evil Hours: A Biography of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, by David J. Morris.  I heard about the book on the Diane Rehm show.  I have been intensively studying trauma and the treatment modality of Somatic Experiencing for the past two years.  That study is one of the ways that I am trying to hold my own heart.

One of the things that Morris writes about is how trauma disrupts our sense of time and place.  Our nervous system is in the past while our bodies are here.  The irresolution of that state is what perpetrates the trauma state.  He says that with trauma, we learn that there are things that break us.  Define us.  I do not want to be defined by my traumas, my losses.  And yet, to a fairly great extent, that is what happened to me two years ago.  I lost my daughter.  I had not seen her for two years, up until two weeks ago.

Seeing her – and one precious and priceless moment in particular, where I saw her drop out of everything and place her hand softly on a horse’s face – is lifting some of the dark heaviness that has been with me for so long.  More than that.  I know that I can hold my love for her like the Buddha holds this heart.  In doing that, I am holding my own heart.

the beast you are

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This is Georgia O”Keefe’s cow.  Can you see/feel the tongue, the big eye of her cow and your own at the same time? Try it.

What interests me is awakening to the animal in myself and in others.  Being an animal among animals.  What I mean by that is a sensing, feeling awareness that is about presence, resonance and attunement — feeling into each other in a cellular, neuroceptive way, rather than at the level of personality and reactivity.

It also means actively cultivating my herdness, not being too special, and finding our how others in my herd smell and move.  Not thinking about it too much, but feeling it a lot.  I am talking about opening.

That takes practice and also a kind of unstylish courage.  Right now I am looking out at our friend Carlos who is doing some repairs on our heating system.  Carlos is a big man with a wonderful dense, stocky physicality.  If he were in my herd (and he is) I would feel good grazing near him, keeping him in my peripheral vision because he is so nicely connected to the earth – a warm, safe presence.  More of that, please.

How to do it?  Be quiet.  Stop talking. Stop thinking about and start feeling into.  Begin with breathing.  Don’t just look at, but let it – the tree, the bird, the dog, the man the woman – step into you. Join, even for a moment.

Tell me what happens.