Category Archives: improvisation life

order/chaos

photo:  Pam White

Today I am interested in the intersection between order and chaos,  and in the way one spills into the other.  With horses and children we do not want chaos.  We want things to be ordered, for safety – theirs and ours.  When things tip into chaos, suddenly we are falling forward, trying to stay one step ahead of disaster. We make plans about how to keep chaos at bay, how to protect ourselves from its ravages.

Several years I ago moved my horse Deo to a new farm.  I took him for a walk, wanting him to see the new place.  I could feel him sparking and getting very fired up and “on the muscle” at the end of my lead rope.  I could feel chaos blooming at the other end of a short rope.  Suddenly he startled, spun and kicked out – leg fully extending for maximum impact, his steel shoe catching me on the thigh.  I went down, still holding the rope.  Somehow I stood up and staggered into the barn, where someone took him and I collapsed.  Miraculously, nothing broken, but a big horseshoe shaped bruise and a softball sized swelling laid me up for days.

That was lightening bolt chaos – sudden, unexpected, disastrous.  Another chaos is like the tattered webs, an order falling into chaos – gradual disintegration, a loosening of the form.

How do you experience chaos in your day?  How do you dance with it?

 

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Falling, the edge

This morning as I sipped my coffee, a bank of fog came tumbling over the crest of Indian Mountain.  A light wind tattered the edge, and then the fog thickened again.  It was as if the clouds and the wind were playing, conversing.  Below, the swamp maples are dressed for fall.

Today I am interested in the edges of things.  The edge of my cup as the sun carves an arc of light onto its surface.  The warm edges of my body meeting the coolness of the air.  The way we experience one moment (sipping coffee) falling, edging into the next (taking out the trash).  The way summer is falling.

Just now, as you are sitting, what edges are you aware of?  Can you let that feeling become clearer?  And then can you soften that edge, so that your body and whatever you are touching dissolve into each other – like the fog and the wind in the picture?

 

the whole, the parts

After I wrote the post on Nelson, talking about the “basic, homogenized body”, I thought about the other side of that coin:  the separate and distinct flavors of the body.  A little like the difference between Western cuisine, which strives for combinations of flavors, and Japan, where there is more of an emphasis on meals consisting of distinct foods, each retaining their own individual taste and appearance.

When I first started to ride, I was overwhelmed by all of the sensory information from my own body and the horse’s body – like trying to listen to about five hundred radio stations at once.  After about fifteen years of sifting and sorting, I can (often, not always) selectively tune into one channel at a time.   It happens quickly – like a momentary check in:  my hips, my legs, his mouth (I feel that in my hands through the reins), each of his legs, my spine, and so on.  This requires a light, quick body-mind, one that doesn’t bear down or get stuck in one place.  No over-thinking, no aggressive fixing. Corrections happen in a flow, awareness is dextrous and global.  That is the goal.

I can feel my lovely trainer, Brandi Rivera, smiling as she reads this.  She has seen me get very stuck, heavy-handed and frustrated.  When that happens, I am usually not tasting or feeling much of anything.  The parts have gotten thick and mushy, like a bad soup. At that moment, I find it helps to tune into the fluid base of the breath, and from there let the mind bloom out to the feast of flavors once again.  It’s the same when dancing – sensing the whole while feeling the relationships and qualities of the parts.

 

 

Cow Licks (an herbivore post)

#4725 is licking my elbow – I am trying to keep him from licking the lens.  I stopped along a curving upstate New York road to admire at these cows and a huge flock of birds in a field.  The minute I stepped out of the car, they began to approach.  Curious cows.  First one, then two more, then a group.  I love cows, love their eyes, their softness, their nature.  For the last three years I have visited the cows at the Putney School in Vermont, and that is where I discovered the delights of cows.  How they love to have the bump on their head scratched, and how they investigate you with their long rough tongues, how herdish they are. Cows usually approach in bunches, gangs, bevies.

I had wanted to create a dance for cows and the dance students at Putney, but we could never quite pull it together.  My friend Ann Carlson did make a dance with cows.  Dancing with another species is a way to listen; to let go of telling and speaking, and shift into feeling and moving.  It is a significantly different  from petting, grooming, walking, milking, riding.  The questions are different, and the answers always changing.  By dancing I don’t mean formal balletic movement, but improvising, playing, investigating.  A great example of inter-species dancing:  playing ultimate frisbee with a dog!