This is Sanne, the beautiful Friesian belonging to Pam. He was imported from Holland when he was three. His name, Sanne, means Lily in Dutch. When Pam saw him, she fell face first in love. That was twelve years ago.
In this picture, he is performing in Scarlet and is ridden by Brandi Rivera. Sanne is the great-hearted performer in all of my dances with horses. He is the center, the soul, the horse that can handle it all Dancers doing handstands on his side, yard of swirling fabric, crowds, choreography, changes in choreography, travel, loud music – he takes it ALL in stride. Sanne is always in a good mood. He is always happy to see whoever comes into his world. He is a lover, a snuggle, a honey.
So when he suddenly started to drop muscle and weight and seem cranky, we all worried. His back became stiff and sore, and he could not find it in himself to work. As it turns out, he has Lyme. He has been on Doxy for about ten days and already his back feels better, and he is back to being his sweet, affectionate self.
It was a scare. I realized that I am completely vulnerable here. Without him, my dancers and I cannot perform most of our dances. More than that, HIS vulnerability came sharply into focus. The vets get very nervous about muscle wasting. It is often a symptom of catastrophic illness. I got a lot of information about encysted parasites, muscle enzymes and equine polysaccharide storage myopathy. I did not want to think about any of it.
Two days ago I heard from my former trainer. She has been diagnosed with cancer. She is facing six months of surgeries and treatment. I do not want to think about that either. What I want is for her to be fine, for Sanne to be fine, for my children to be safe forever and for all suffering to be at an end.
The temptation is to focus on suffering, on the lack of wellness. I don’t think that helps my friend or my horse. I know that it does not help me. What does help me is this, from Abraham: “Many around you want to point out “reality” to you. They say, “Face the facts. Look at what-is.” And we say to you, if you are able to see only what-is—then, by Law of Attraction, you will create only more of what-is… You must be able to put your thoughts beyond what-is in order to attract something different or something more.”
The way that I do that is this: I keep looking for something to appreciate. For something that makes me happy. Lucky for me, I have seven cats, four dogs, three horses, two children, a beautiful wife and a wild and wonderful collection of friends. And if all of that fails, today the peonies are blooming outside my window.