Category Archives: horses, dogs & more

Aug30

Stormy Weather

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Into the Vortex by Pam White

The other day I took my horse Amadeo out on a lead line to do some ground work.  We got into the arena, and suddenly he was arching his neck, blowing like a stallion, tail flagging, spooking, little rears.  Sweat poured down my neck.  I wanted to run.  The last time this happened, five years ago, I was walking him at a new farm and he spooked, pivoted and kicked out, catching my thigh full force with his hoof.  I went down.  I had a shoe print, a big lump and a colorful leg for about a year.When that happened,I felt caught in a storm – fearful, helpless.  It felt personal.

Hurricane Irene, on the other hand, catapulted us into an odd kind of stillness.  After putting away and securing  all potential projectiles, including dogs, cats, plants, we fell into obsessive storm watching.  On the television and out the windows.  Trees waving, rain whipping in sheets, images of the sea wild, surging.  On the farm, the horses safe inside, chewing hay, breathing, shuffling in the straw. The Irene storm felt impersonal – something that happened with all of us – a kind of communal event – something to share.

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Aug26

Letting Go

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From Tilt Photo by Pam White

Yesterday we took one daughter to college.  Tomorrow daughter #2 goes off to college.   Two weeks ago, I made the decision to sell my gelding Amadeo.  I have come to see, painfully and over a long period of time, that I am not the best dance partner for this horse.  Holding on to him is clinging to an old dream.  Like trying to hold onto my girls as they launch into their new lives. There is something about these kinds of emptying changes that is uncomfortable, violent.  Hurricane Irene steaming up the East coast feels like this – inevitable, unpredictable.  What I can do is bring in the plants and the lawn furniture, gather the cats, make sure that the girls’ laundry is done and that they have what they need. Love them.  Look for a loving home for Deo, with someone who can dance his beautiful dance.  And most of all, hold myself gently through all these passing storms of change.

Aug22

Beige or Light Brown?

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Yesterday I read an article in the New York Times about decision making and how our endless cascade of choices basically overwhelms our limited bandwidth, wreaking havoc with our emotional and physical selves.  The way I experience it is as a surfeit of essentially meaningless choices (Coffee or tea?  Pants or shorts?  Write the blog or go for a walk? etc. etc. etc.)  It feels like dithering.  Another symptom of an unquiet mind.  Time to breathe and get quiet.  (Meditate or walk?  Breathe or stretch? . . . oops, there I go again).

Horses don’t dither.  They are not overwhelmed by their choices.  Hay or grass?  This place or that?  Doze or graze?  Lick the salt or wait until later?  They just move in a smooth flow from one thing to the next.  I imagine that to be vastly refreshing, more immediate, sensual and delicious.  I notice that when I am at the barn, in the presence of the horses, the choices dissolve.  I fall into horse time – expanded, open-ended, present.