Tag Archives: death

what happened on the way

              Jacopo Bellini

Today as we were driving to Sarah Lawrence College to see a dance performance that our daughter had helped to choreograph, we flew by a flailing dear in the middle of a hideously busy highway.  We pulled over immediately.

As I walked back up the highway, cars flew by.  I was sure that I would see the deer shattered in the road.  But instead, it had made its way to the side of the road, helped by two young women who had seen it and stopped before we had.  The accident had happened in the northbound lane, and somehow the deer ended up on the southbound side.

Its back legs were broken, and it was obviously in terrible pain.  The two young women had called the police, who said they were coming but that the police could not shoot the deer.  It was an animal control issue.

Here is the shocking part.  A young man stopped by the side of the road not to help, but to video the struggling women and the dying deer.  During the 30 minutes we waited for the police to come, hundreds of cars tore by us and only one person, a woman, stopped to inquire if we were ok.

When the police did finally arrive, the young officer said that he would shoot the deer.  By then, it had dragged itself even further into the thicket.  He did shoot it, which was the kindest thing.  We prayed the Buddhist prayer for the dying as it died:  om tara tutare ture soha.  Over and over.

This is a terrible story.  The violent death of this deer is terrible enough.  The worst part, however, is the indifference of others who witnessed it, and the idiotic voyeur with the camera. That is the unforgivable part.

There we were, four women, standing guard, waiting, not willing to leave an animal suffering.  That does not make us heroic.  It makes us human.  Suffering should touch us.  It should draw us in. It should open our hearts, stop us in our tracks, elicit our best selves.

I am uncomfortable on a soapbox.  But this made me very, very angry, deeply pained.  I was reminded of a conversation that I overheard at a cafe.  A woman, laughing derisively, said to her dining partner, “Oh, she’s the type that stops to take a squirrel off the road.”  Yes, I am.

 

 

 

 

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passage

Yesterday our beloved cat Musia died.

Musia is from St. Petersberg, Russia.  She came from one of the city’s “kitten clubs” and we were told that she is Siberian.  She arrived sight unseen to us 16 years ago.  Here is the story.

My dance company was performing Ghostdance in St. Petersberg.  One evening after rehearsals, we were strolling on the Kamennoostrovsky Bridge.  As we walked we saw people were standing with boxes of kittens that they were selling.  In one box was a tiny, tiny kitten with  dot on his nose.  I was smitten.  We did not take him.  We could not find a carrier, a vet.  As we were leaving, in the airport, we saw an American family smiling happily with their Russian kitten in a carrier.  I was struck with remorse.

Over the next week, I corresponded with my Russian contact, Helen Zinchik, who actually managed to find the kitten because of his distinctive markings.  Lisa First, the festival organizer agreed to fly the kitten to JFK where we would meet her during her brief layover on the way back to Minneapolis.  At the last minute Helen called and said, “Will you take another kitten?  Her name is Musia.  I have her sister Dusia.”  Of course we would.

We would fly from Martha’s Vineyard to JFK to meet her.  Our plane was late.  As we circled over JFK, I knew the window was closing.  Finally we landed, and I raced through the airport to find Lisa.  She had five minutes before her flight.  We connected, and she handed me the carrier, a quick hug, and I ran back through the airport for our flight that was also departing momentarily.  The security machine was broken, and so (pre-2001) the agent waved me through.  I could see Musia’s black and white tufted paws waving through the carrier door.

Pam literally stood in the door of our aircraft, saying the the agitated attendants, “She’s coming, she’s coming!”  I made it, and we finally had a chance to see our new Ghostdance kittens.  Nikita was tiny, huddled in the back of the carrier, with that dot on his nose.  Musia was all fur, feet and whiskers.

Some of you may think this is a silly, extravagant story.  Perhaps.  But it also feels karmic.  These two were supposed to be with us, supposed to join our family and help to create the transition for our newly adopted seven-year old daughter.

This morning we skyped with both girls so that they could say goodbye to Musia.  One of them remembered carrying Musia around in a little cloth basket, which she endured patiently, along with being dressed in doll’s clothing, and smothered with hugs.  The other was quiet, “I love you Musia.”

She is the most equanimous cat we have ever known.  Total presence and total balance.  Thank you, Musia, thank you.