My post on duty and devotion has sparked some interesting conversation. From my friend Suzanne, “I often think of that koan about the Big Rocks — making sure you get those big rocks in the container before adding the little ones or the sand. I’m sure you know it, yes? I do that (actually physically) with my students and do it periodically with myself. But — trouble is — I have so many Big Rocks — and some of the Little Rocks seem important!”

This raises a question for me about scattered-ness and spreading myself so thin that my days seem a jumble of identities and doing, rather than the more peaceable (seemingly) statement that my friend Jon Katz makes about himself:  “I am a writer. That is my heart and soul, my identity and work.”

I am a choreographer a dancer, a writer, a rider, a somatic movement therapist a horse therapist.  A mother a lover.  Too many Big Rocks.  Maybe I need a much larger container or (yes!) no container at all.

Last fall I taught an online class called Breaking into Blossom.  It was about bringing a more improvisational spirit of play and engagement into your life.  I learned a lot.  Now, I think that there is another layer of investigation that I want to do that has to do with feeling the heart; with letting yourself be moved;  with allowing and intuitive knowing. It is a little like what I call horse dancing, which is about learning how to listen, to feel and to respond soulfully in the moment.

I think that when I am in the spin cycle of duty madness, I have come untethered from the stillness and attention that is at the heart of good horse dancing – the heart of stillness that is needed before making a true move.

I am feeling the seeds of another class here.  Stay tuned.